


Knockin' on Heaven's door

by hidden_messages



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Coma, Hospitals, M/M, Major Character Injury, Medical Trauma, Prompt Fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-31
Updated: 2015-08-31
Packaged: 2018-04-18 08:57:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 724
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4699967
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hidden_messages/pseuds/hidden_messages
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You need to wake up because I can’t do this without you.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Knockin' on Heaven's door

“You need to wake up because I can’t do this without you.”

There are tubes and wires trailing all over Clint’s limp body and Phil isn’t sure what even half of them are for, he just knows that all of them are keeping Clint’s heart beating. He keeps whispering the words over and over as he sits in the chair next to the bed gently stroking Clint’s cold fingers. 

Phil can’t move. He can’t take his eyes of Clint, his wonderful Clint who is clinging to life with every single fibre in his battered body. And there nothing Phil can do except sit, watch and wait.

After a few hours of staring Phil is accompanied home by Steve and Natasha who ensure he eats and washes before sleeping for a few hours whilst Tony takes Phil’s place by Clint’s bedside. They all feel guilty despite the fact that none of them could have predicted this outcome and they were all powerless to stop the events that led to the bomb, the explosions; Clint’s fate. 

Phil wakes and makes his way into his kitchen, Steve is sitting at the breakfast counter nursing a cup of coffee and reading a book. “Coulson.” He nods as Phil approaches and pours him a cup of coffee. “Natasha headed back to the hospital to take over from Tony, there was something in the debris from the explosion that SHIELD wanted him to look at.”

If Phil was in proper agent mode he would have pestered Steve for any other details, but now he feels drained. Nothing matters except Clint lying in that hospital bed.

“Coulson?” Steve tries talking again. “Sir? Are you alright?”

The obvious answer to that question is no, obviously not. But even in this state Phil knows Steve is worried. 

He answers eventually. “I will be.”

Shortly after Phil answers Steve’s phone beeps.

Steve looks over at Phil and picks up his keys. “Clint’s not breathing; they’ve had to put him on a ventilator.”

Phil’s world becomes a little grey around the edges. He can’t lose Clint, not now. Not after Budapest, New York or every other battle they’ve fought and won. This battle is just as important and Phil is not going to be on the losing side.

The drive to medical is quiet and Phil tries to comprehend that maybe he won’t get to live the life he wanted to with Clint, but he doesn’t know how to say the perfect goodbye.  Their lives were supposed to be long and fulfilling, with plenty of birthdays and Christmaes celebrated together with friends and family.  He didn’t want to lose Clint before his partner had the chance to become his husband.

The walk to Clint’s room in medical is tiring and Phil can feel Steve watching him with wary eyes. The room is empty of any other Avengers apart from Natasha, although Phil suspects they’ve each been and gone. Natasha is sat by Clint’s body, her eyes not moving from him as she speaks.

“He had another heart attack a few minutes ago. He’s stable again but his chances have decreased, they don’t think he has much longer.”

Phil has to sit before his knees give out. This wasn’t what he wanted to hear, not at all. But he can see how pale Clint is, he doesn’t even need to touch his hand to know how fragile he is. This is not how Clint is supposed to be. He’s supposed to be strong and warm, and Phil begins to feel that maybe this is time to say goodbye.

He’s dimly aware of Natasha getting up and guiding him into the seat she was in as the nurse comes in, changing Clint’s medication as a last attempt to stabilise his heart rhythm. Phil’s not overly hopeful, he’s not even sure he knows what hope is anymore. Steve and Natasha are listening to the nurse, so they’ll know what’s going on. Phil just wants the pain to stop.

Hours pass as Clint’s medicine is changed and vitals are monitored but Phil doesn’t move. He can’t.  He begins to whisper quietly once more and holds Clint’s hand in his own. “You need to wake up because I can’t do this without you.”

There is a slight pause before a quiet voice replies, “I can’t do it without you either.”

 


End file.
